Jamie and I are usually quite private about our working lives, particularly when it comes to auditions. I find the constant highs and lows you experience as an actor to be a very personal thing that not many non industry people understand. From one minute picking up the phone for a recall and having material sent through for the part you’re up for, to the next hearing that people you know are in for the next round but you haven’t heard, so assuming a “no”. It’s of course not always the case but the majority of the time you don’t even hear that you haven’t got any further.
For one role it was between me and another girl in the final round, I’d been in and out over about five auditions across a few weeks and, shortly after, I found out that I hadn’t got the part through a musical theatre blog . I’ve had to toughen up a lot.
I was recently in for one of my dream roles, I’d learnt all the material and knew I could do it and was suited to it. It sometimes makes it worse when everyone around you says “you’re perfect for it” – so I tend to keep it quiet when I’m auditioning.
Sadly I got the dreaded call of “it’s not going any further” just before the final round and was absolutely gutted. I wanted this part – I’d channeled ‘The Secret’, I had put my heart and soul into it. The reason was so out of my hands that it made me question why I put myself through all of the heartache.
I let myself wallow for a few hours and then I pick myself up and get on with my life. You have to. You wouldn’t survive in this industry else.
Today I came across a quote that touched a nerve and I’m sure many of you can relate no matter what field you are in.